Learning to take my own medicine.

How good are you at taking your own medicine?

One of the curious quirks of being a life coach is how often I reflect back on client sessions and see lessons for myself that I need to pay attention to. Similarly, my blog musings generally are inspired by my current thinking or reading on some topic that warrants further exploration. And oftentimes, when I am paying attention, I find I am needing to pay heed to my own writings.

Physios are notoriously bad at doing their own exercises.

I know this from experience (as a former physio, more here), and it strikes me that learning to take my own medicine is a theme here.

How well am I paying attention to my own needs?

To what extent am I overstepping my own limits?

Am I over-reaching my boundaries of what is mine to do? Taking responsibility for or trying to fix something outwith my control?

Learning to take my own medicine.

I am in a very different season of life from when I first set up my own business in 2013. I was talking with a young keen bean entrepreneur over Zoom last week; he interviewed me about business challenges, goals, dreams. I reflected to a friend afterwards that my answers would have been very different 10 years ago.

Because what I notice now is that my energy levels and my priorities have shifted. Ten years ago I would have been full of future focused dreams and ideas.

I love coaching and I love what I do.

But my focus has shifted because our season has changed.  We are empty nesters, and that brings lots of new opportunities but also a fresh style of parenting that we are learning as we go.

MB and I both have an elderly parent whose needs are changing and who require a lot more support. Ill health, increased visits and more caring responsibilities take time, energy and head space. And that can be draining, on top of running a business that is people-focused.

Paying attention to my body intelligence.

And frustratingly, my body now does not spring joyfully into action each morning. Creaks, aches and stiffness seem more the norm. Thank goodness for my wonderful Pilates teacher and her constant encouragement to notice but not judge.

So, learning to take my own medicine in this season is about becoming clear on my priorities and values, what I can and cannot do, and therefore what to say yes and no to. And how to communicate that is also imperative, more on that here.

All this necessitates a change in pace from 10 years ago.

Choosing my response.

My understanding of my limits and needs is changing. My body takes longer to catch up. That is the frustrating reality, but railing against this does not serve me well. Frustration and negative self-talk about what I feel I ‘should’ be able to do simply keep me stressed, irritated and grumpy. And therefore even less able to be who I want to be to those who matter most in this season.

Let Them.

Mel Robbins Let Them theory has somewhat taken the world by storm. Her pithy theory captures age old wisdom in a very marketable format (a somewhat cynical observation, I realise). And there is a lot of sense to how she captures what is and is not our responsibility:

…the process of letting go of the control you do not have over other people’s opinions is a game-changing stress reliever. Sometimes, the most profound changes in life come from the simplest acts, right?”

as I read recently here.

But the second part of her theory is just as important:

Let Me.

And for me, this is the crux of learning to take my own medicine as I blog about boundaries and limits. Let Me understand in this new season what is mine to do and let go of what is not. I and I alone choose my response to when my plans are upended, and I can choose a positive get-to mindset whilst being flexible and realistic. Accepting with kindness and grace when my body is rebelling and allowing more restorative and creative practices, which I need.

And choosing to give space and energy to those who matter most in this season.